So I was discussing religion with Libby, and I told her about my theory of how Christianity started. This is what I think really went down.
A long long time ago, there was a whore. Her name was Mary. One day, Mary got pregnant. She was married, and she and her husband couldn't have a kid, so she was worried she would be killed. So, she made something up. Something called... God. A holy man got her pregnant. Her dumbfuck husband believed her son was the son of God, so they named him Jesus.
Once Jesus grew up, he became a carpenter. Only problem? He sucked. So he thought it'd be easier to just preach about his imaginary father.
It caught on.
Thus, Christianity was formed.
And all the miracles?
A bunch of drunk guys decided to write about Jesus. They threw in miracles to make the story more interesting. Then they called it the Bible, cause it sounded fancy.
The end.
